December First Musings -Love and Change
The first day of a new month and it's snowing heavily outside as I write this. A few days ago, I turned 46, and I celebrated it with my loved ones, quietly, just as I wanted. When I think back to this time last year, and where I was emotionally, mentally, it's vastly different from the contentment I'm feeling at this moment. Last year, and my second year sober, I was quite down. But, stubbornly, didn't say a word, as I justified that it was the holidays and everyone was 'too busy to care,' and I didn't want to 'bother' anyone with my gloom and loneliness. I could feel things shifting, changing in a way I couldn't grasp or prevent. I had done (and continue to do) a lot of shadow work last year, uncovering and facing much of my own crap, recognizing and breaking old patterns. Maybe that was it? As I look back I can see that was part of it. All that rooting around, and releasing things that weren't working or unhealthy, left me feeling....stran
